As you know I'm in the bb house so I figure I would treat some of you all to the house happening, I'm magical so I can see like different spots in the house even the ones I'm not in! Since I feel like the show doesn't give you a true representation of who these people are I'd talk about them and do some feed things and How I feel about these people.
Of course I'll probably discuss spoilers soooo don't read anymore if you don't wanna hear it but I think we all know!
1. Janelle: I obviously adore Janelle I follow her around, we share my luxury bedroom, we wash our faces together, do makeup together, if I'm separated from Janelle I don't know what to do with myself.....I say sorry the moment I feel like queen Janelle is judging me, but its not often because Janelle agrees with me on everything because I take something she said and say it hours later hoping she forgot what she said so I can sound smart saying it! Her players aren't as strong as mine but hers are more stable!
2. Mike: I will admit I enjoyed telling all the girls not to sit where he sits because he had genital warts (something all the past house guests know) but anyway Janelle, Dan and I think hes a douche. We spend about 75 percent of our day talking shit on him. I died laughing when he told me he wanted his child to turn out just like him and he'd be fine with that. He thinks Kara is hot and flirted with Danielle. Danielle and Kara enjoy laughing about this because he's 80, no one cares if you're a millionaire if you're losing your money faster than you cum. I'm a little jealous I wish I was the first houseguests to cut off a genital wart in the bb house
3. Britney: I will admit I'm a little mad at myself for following Janelle and Wil. However I'm as funny as ever not to mention prettier!
4. Dan: He tried to brainwash us (even though he was telling the truth) I don't believe him because he won his game by being flawless and talking to people in a godly manner. He keeps judging some of us because of different religious issues. He flirts with Kara alot and its so gross and obvious... like respect your marriage. He kept mentioning my relationship with my previous fiance, and how he thought Lane and I should be together (shut up gross I'm married)
5. Wil: He is my puppy and a little over dramatic I mean last night he did throw a 5 hour fit because Jojo took his beer. Then I made him feel better by focusing my attention on him. Will stop making weird faces at me when you're telling a joke, they're not needed and it makes me think you wanna put razors in my ass.
6. Ian: I'm constantly worried he's hiding under pillows because he's so tiny. He spends most of his time alone and if he's not alone he's around the guys but doesn't say anything. Although he rarely ever talks to the girls (just Ashley, Kara, and Danielle) Janelle and I were wondering why he doesn't approach it. Janelle thinks its because we seemed so mean on t.v. Danielle and Kara annoyed me when they talked about little Ian. They think Ian is trying to peek on them while they're in the shower because he goes in there and lotions up his hands every 30 minutes or he will just sit there......Um...... Dumb bitches he does that to mike, Joe and Wil.... Do you think he wants to sneak a peak at all of them? NO stop being a cunt, because when Shane goes in there and talks to you, you guys have no problem being nice. Danielle asked Ian about his lotion issue to which Ian tells her when he was a young boy he always had dry hands, the kids would make fun of him while playing school games (we all remember the holding hands and singing type of shit) so in class he would lick his hands to keep them moisturized the teacher was the one who made it apparent now he lotions his hands alot because he was worried the bb houseguests would make fun of him... Dan makes fun of his hand motions with Danielle and Kara later. Danielle makes fun of how he talks about his "mama" as she calls it and how she told him she didn't want him doing anything bad with the girls. The all giggle together making fun of Ian. Um Danielle.... I hate to make you aware of this but just because our mothers weren't aware of this but a mother is supposed to make her child feel like the greatest thing on the planet, and she's supposed to want good things. They are not to wish their child to die....
(Danielle doesn't speak to her real father or mother, her father hates her they call her ungrateful and she explains how its not true shes practically jesus with all her amazing friendships)
Jojo: She got drunk stole one of wil's beers, tried to get with Shane, then pretended she didn't just get rejected who doesn't love that?
Kara: Word of advice: No one on God's earth would ever shower peek on you, if they did... who gives a fuck your vagina is in playboy bitch! Go fall down some stairs.
Joe: He is adorbs he cooks us all food he made the slop taste like meat! He says cute things about cheap cars and he thinks if you own a chevy you're rich! Me and Janelle laugh and talk about how we adore him when he leaves and figure he must be poor so we want him to stay a while. We agree we love him.
Frank: He's a threat I want him out so does Janie.... I didn't pick him because I thought he could be weird.
Shane: I was irritated on the feeds at him for like 10 seconds last night because of the shower peeping comments he said the next time Ian does it he would say something. I talk about how I don't want him to say anything and how he clearly just wants to get pussy from the girls and he can't be that much of a good guy.
Danielle: She's rich, her parents used to pay for everything... but then they randomly started "mentally abusing her"........ I don't really like her and me and Janelle talked about how maybe she is abused and mistreated because she always wants to be alone and when she borrowed Janelle's pants and Janelle didn't talk to her for most of the day she had tears in her eyes. We agree she's extremely sensitive and that she is depressed. We want to make her feel better because we don't want her killing herself and we want to make her feel loved!
Ashley: She overdosed on muscle relaxers last night so a bunch of us had to carry her downstairs.......... It screams perfection! I laugh about how my team and Janelle's are all so fucked up. She also sleeps all day and flirts with Ian.
Jenn: I like to talk shit about her. She told us she was a lesbian! We pretended to be shocked and laugh about it because we knew.. Janelle says " People think thats a big deal now......I'm a lesbian! I like dick... who gives a shit"
Willie: I love Willie we spend so much time together bonding!
Jodi: I laugh at her.... we talk about what she's doing and if she shot herself yet... I think she did...
*Everything was written in the point of view as Britney or how she would see it*
